The Art of Life

A Brief Pause

2007-09-05T12:27:00.000+10:00

This cloud of uncertainty is beginning to make me doubtful
Of all the hopes and dreams, of the entire castle we’ve built
They say what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger
What happens then to an unfinished process?

I really have traveled much too far indeed
But all directions have been guided by a strong instinct
Standing strong as a solitary adult in this controlled life,
Could I have been wrong all these time?

I’ve taken my leap of faith,
I’ve put all of my cards on the table right from the very beginning
Wishing that you would do the same
So here I am, standing, breathing, waiting.

JK

Grrrr...

2007-07-05T15:31:00.000+10:00

Here I am again.

Pondering useless things about life, over-analyzing things and ended up to a conclusion: my life sucks.

Somewhere in my early twenty-something years, I am quite happy to proclaim that I'm proud of my accomplishments so far. But every now and again, I cannot help but feel these dull-ness, meaningless-ness sensations that fill my daily lives. I wonder if it's something I ate... or didn't eat? ;p

Feel like packing my bags and wonder off to a foreign country, wishing to find something. Which I knew I wouldn't find anyway, 'cause I've been there before. All there is was just a peaceful week or month to spend on anything without anyone requesting something of you..

What is it then that I want? Is it just as easy as switching off a button in my head just to stop thinking too much and be happy just the way things are?

Maybe I should rest my head for a while....

JK

Rhyme Play

2007-05-19T11:06:00.000+10:00

I can’t hide,

Can’t lie

I can’t keep you on a stream

That’s going by

I can’t hold

‘cause I’m bold

Can’t take something that’s not mine

That’s what I’m told

See my pain?

It’s on the reign

I’m waiting for it to wash away

Maybe in a Rain

So let’s smile

Just for a while

Our lines have crossed, and I will

Tell our tales in the Nile

Continuing the Tradition

2007-01-21T00:44:00.001+11:00

Can you be so sure of anything in this life?

The season changes continuously, and here in Sydney the constant shifting of the weather is not of unfamiliarity to most residents. We expect snow in summer, and gratefully embraced hot sun in winter. Humans tend to take anything and everything for granted, a trait that is too hard to kill especially with current hi-tech supported living, where things are demanded bigger, better, and quicker.

Tragically, when one of the most valuable treasures that was found in this world vanishes, we quickly grew some liking to other nicer, fancier distractions. Whatever happened with treasuring the old, memorable gems? How is it that life can be so shallow?

Being a conservative person that I am, one tends to hold on tight to one’s most precious gifts that life has delivered. Yet at times I can’t seem to be able to distinguish the gifts that will endure for a season or a lifetime. Is it wrong to wish that good things are to last in this life? Would it be considered a sin to attempt to preserve a life’s treasure even when it will be on the other’s expense?

The wise will know that the only constant thing in this world is change.

I think I will walk with my eyes shut and pretend that I am a fool.

JK

Vanity

2007-01-21T00:44:00.000+11:00

What do you have to offer?
So much demands, countless contemplations
Wanting so much out of me
Where in fact you can’t give much yourself

Material things, stupid and shallow objectives
I’m not made up of magazines
I have books and dictionaries enough to fill a library
Consolidating and enriching my tiny brains

I’m not sure where you got the idea from
But this life is not all about the superficial
I’m worth more than that, I’m proud to say I’m real
Not waiting to be fed, not wasting time staying around

Can’t you see that there’s more to life?
Unbelieving your artificial state, here I am left in ponder
You waste your time for the unthinkable
Wasting time, wasting dime, wasting life

Why bother existing when you’re not living?
Why bother displaying when you’re not representing?
All of your inappropriateness is making me sick to the stomach
If you can’t use your life, then give it to someone else

JK

Drown Me

2007-01-21T00:43:00.000+11:00

Love me
Seduce me
Tease me
Overwhelm me
The way you used to own me

Caress me
Embrace me
Take me to another world
The way you used to fantasise me

I need your love
I need your loving
I want to escape to another world
That I used to go to when I’m lost

Drown me in your land
Don’t escape me when I try
Chain me to your heart
Switch off the starry skies
So that I won’t find my way home

My world is a waste
I tried my best to please her
I jumped, I soared, I crossed many oceans
Like a passing deaf sound she overlooked my attempts

So take me
Hide me
Own me
Own me
My life is mine and now I give it to you
If you would only drown me

JK

Dark and Dull

2007-01-21T00:38:00.000+11:00

Do you think fate has the unavoidable nature
With its twistful turns and continuances
That eventually leads us to a predetermined line
That nevertheless, would be suitable for our soul?

For I have traveled many miles
Away from my life, to embrace another life
Yet life itself lured me back into its trap
And I become its voodoo princess

No matter how high I tried to fly
Or how wise I try to grow
This chain of bitterness seems to be endlessly pulling me down
With hatred, betrayal and foolishness

I’ll scream if I can, cause I really want to
I’ll run if I could, but I have not the heart to
Now all that I can see is an endless circle
That has begun to eat away my rotten faith

If this life’s journey is all about hardship
And hardships are meant to give you power
Then what’s the use of easy living after hardship?
Will it even come at all?

Now all I have is fear and confusion
With doubtful heart and mind that marry as one
And it seems like they cannot be transformed
All is dark, all is dull.

JK

I am Me

2006-04-17T02:34:00.000+10:00

Can’t we live without primal prejudices and shallow stereotyping?

Today I was kindly introduced to a key member of an organization, whose first line of her self-introductory was “come and join us”. I was utterly shocked; I froze for about a tenth of a second. Trying to hide my surprise and keep up my courtesy, I sent her a sheer smile and gave out a ‘maybe’ gesture.

There was no harm on her line, no self-indulging or any hint of self-superiority whatsoever. But whatever happened to “hi, how are you?”, or “nice to meet you, where are you from?” or “what do you do?”.

Whatever happened to the basic conversational skills, and the common courtesy of communication? Why do people need to ‘group’ others to a certain race, belief, or even sexual preference?

Is it a grueling thing for the twenty-first century dwellers to accept an individual as is? In a highly evolved society, where nations are civilized and independently administrated, even the most individual soul is categorized into a certain group.

Nomad, melancholic, anti-social, boat-rocker,...

and many more names that supposedly can describe the many characteristics within a unique individual. Do you think it’s wise to see someone as an Aquarian, or Libran, or a Horse or Dog and judge their characteristics according to the ‘groups’ that they belong to?

I’d say, nay.

”My songs are not clear, and many could not hear

It is engraved in silence, and to listen you don’t need an ear

I’m more than a canvas, you’d have to go deep through them

And once you can infiltrate the covers, I’m all yours to keep.”

Jane

2006-04-10T17:14:00.000+10:00

Jane

Come, my dear

Let me take you to an opened window of my heart

Sit by me, my dear

I will tell you a story no one has ever heard

The facts and myths of the known, and the unknown

The beginning and end of many more to hear

The construction and abolishment of endless things

Of meetings, fallings, breakings, healings

Maybe you would know, maybe you wouldn’t

Because this door was tightly shut

Many have tried to penetrate, but failed

Because this door, well it’s locked from inside

But you’ve been there before, even from outside

I think you didn’t notice you were there

Because your shoes left messy prints all over the inside

But now I’ve wiped them all away, it’s clean. It’s pure.

Have you ever wondered why I took you there?

How long will it take until you realize your presence in mine?

You touched my sheets, read my books

Remember how we made music together?

My songs are not clear, and many could not hear

It is engraved in silence, and to listen you don’t need an ear

I’m more than a canvas, you’d have to go deep through them

And once you can infiltrate the covers, I’m all yours to keep.

Oops..

2006-04-10T16:30:00.000+10:00

Oops...

Since when does dream become reality?

Some left over sensations that has been suppressed

Hoped that they will eventually deteriorate and vanish

Few rare elements that are surprisingly powerful

How would the dead feel when they’re brought back to life?

Is it necessarily a refreshing and liberating thing,

Or a merely past lifetime path that should be left behind?

And which one would satisfy them more?

Do the strong strife for future hopes

Or do the hopeful endure for what’s worth itself?

A Request

2006-04-01T21:03:00.000+11:00

A Request

Winter is here again

Ah, what a reminiscence

I can see people with their familiar faces

I can clearly taste the winter dishes that I often had

The grassy hills, with a warm touch of sun

This familiar smell, this homely air.

Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn

It goes by and by and life past me by

A lot of smiles, a lot of cries

And a hell lot of everything else.

From playground to university,

From comics to textbooks

And then it grew to offices and houses

And now, maturity and responsibility.

Yet in this solitude, I yearn for something much more

Something that would stay through the seasons

Winter me, Spring me, Summer me, Autumn me

And after it’s done, we’ll do it all over again.

1+1=1 ?

2006-03-26T12:35:00.000+11:00

1+1=1 ?

It’s hard staying in solitude as twenty-first century adults. We are in the midst of romantically evolved society where coupledom is overly commercialised, where most mothers are brainwashed with the melodramatic soaps with endless twists and unpredictable turnouts, overlapping affairs and unbelievably hot casts. This booming romantical shift penetrates all ages and generations, even our primary youngsters are encouraged of early hitch to avoid future lonesome misery.

It is simply easier to stay with someone you “can live with” rather than really seeking someone that you want to be with. It is simply easier to get a paying day job, spend the weekend with a partner, own a flat-screen TV on an apartment with a twenty-year loan, and suddenly you’re a renewed and complete human. How true is the equation: “1+1 = 1”? Or, in a neo-Shakespearean cheesy terminology, “you complete me”?

People seem to grab whatever job that was served on their plate, without questioning and exploring their inner yearn of their callings in life. Then something that started as a hot fuelled engine slowly deteriorates and remains in a constant stationary point, realizing that they’re doing something rather pointless and emotionally stagnant. And then people starts to question life, and their purpose in life. But by then their age has got them down and they gave up on ever finding the answers altogether, and spend the rest of their non-working days playing golf instead.

It is comfortable, yes. It is also easy, yes. It is safe.

But does it worth your life?

In Anglo-Saxon and more westernized culture, we believe that humans are entitled to one mortal life and one life only. This means that if we screw up once, we screw up big time. It takes you to the small noisy tuckshop hall when you were in primary school, and on hand you have the dollar that your mother gave you that morning. You could only pick one candy, or a bar of caramel slice. You can’t decide which one is best, but if you pick the worse off, you have to settle with it for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, our lives are not century-long one dollars and we don’t get to wait until the next life-day to trade our life currencies.

So what do we do?

Some of us decided to rush with the first opportunity that came, and stuck with it for the next seventy-eighty years. Some hung around and see what ‘bus’ would come next. Some never even realized that they’ve missed all their chances and that they’re only sitting waiting for the whole thing to end.

Is it scary? Is it challenging? Is it fun?

One thing I know: it’s real.

I guess at the end of it, no one can really judge on how others spend their lives; professionally, spiritually, or romantically. We only know what we know, and we don’t know what we don’t know. At least we all give it a shot, and after we decide on what to get, we’ll cross our fingers and hope for the best that the tuckshop lady makes the best caramel slice that day.

that's not it

2006-03-22T01:51:00.000+11:00

that's not it

Music is not a delicate orchestration of pretty notes
Embedded with harmonious layers of foundation and extension of chords
It is not based upon a metronomic pulse
With a loud thump that leads and lags around it.

A scream is not a mere high pitch projected in loud volumes
Nor a cry as a sheer drops of eye rain
All is empty. All is shallow. Meaningless and fruitless.
Without a deep soul and reason behind it.

What makes a man if not a true respect and understanding of life?
Virtue, Honour, Humility, Respect, Compassion, Love.
What makes a woman if not an everlasting love and patience?
Virtue, Honour, Humility, Respect, Compassion, Love.

What makes Love if not overflowing joy?
It is not made of kisses, nor hugs, nor bunches of flowers.
Not of days, months, years, or decades that passes by.
But a deep understanding and acceptance of two hearts that meet as one.

JK

To Natalie

2006-03-12T19:47:00.000+11:00

To Natalie

They say sisterhood the the strongest bond of all
Amongst the many types of relationships, it is the most faithful and humble.
During the times of tears and laughter, there we were
Three youthful spirits, three different minds, connected to one love.

Through the repetition of four seasons, we grew and matured
There were bed time horror stories, endless phone calls from anonymous admirers,
Love stories sharing and consulting, and those late night girl talks
Sometimes we'd do crazy things, and sometimes we'd do nothing at all.
Regardless, they were all priceless times.

But now, one of us has gone
She's left her youthful life behind, and stepped into the age of adulthood
With one lucky gentleman on her side,
Together they will embrace life's greates gift together.

With these words I give you my blessings
With it comes prayer for happiness, health and eternal love.
Although things will never be the same again without you
I know that I'll always keep our memories and come back to yesterdays.

Love always,
JK

the FoodChain Wonder

2006-03-08T00:48:00.000+11:00

The FoodChain Wonder

I find it fascinating how diverse human minds are.

Some people are so talented; you can’t even grasp their simple concept of holding a spoon. On the other hand, however, you can’t even begin to comprehend what was on the mind of that idiot that you met last week.

Then you realized: you’re stuck in the middle of human brain idio-polysynchronization, and somewhere between all the Einsteins and dumbos out there you’re left to decide – swim. Or drown to death.

Has human civilization push the mean of survival to its extreme limits? In a dog-eat-dog society, where the winner gets the dinner and the loser cleans the saucer I am left to do one thing and one thing only: rush to the top of the ladder!

Would this mentality of the society demean the so-called “lesser” intelligence? How would we treat the people who are nice and genuine by nature, yet not very competent on skills or intelligence? Do the latter make them less of respectable figures amongst the society, or one that are so rare amongst the population we should make them State of the Art Treasures? Would we favor the first over the second, and who would survive?

At this early stage of my adulthood, I guess I am left to wonder and wait, until time answer my question.

American Beauty

2006-01-19T09:39:00.000+11:00

American Beauty

I found myself in tears at the end of this movie.. such beautiful quote and I was just all lost in it.

"I guess I could be pissed off with whats happened to me... But

it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world.

Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much...

My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I

remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it... And then it

flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but

gratitude.. for every single moment.. of my stupid little life."

- American Beauty -

Dreams

2006-01-18T13:38:00.000+11:00

Open discussion: Dreams

I had this really weird, frightening dream last night.
I can't recall the exact details now, but I remembered waking up and feeling very relieved that it was a dream. I was horrified, and I spent half a day today freaking out!

It was something to do with me being blue, and then I watched this video about a person being in a similar situation, but then she commited suicide by jumping from a high apartment's balcony. For some reason, I was frustrated and about to do the same thing as well! But I restrained myself for jumping, and not long after that I woke up.

The unusual thing is, it felt so real! It almost felt like I was really there and made a conscious judgements of my action. I wonder, what are dreams? Do they really represent some things that we are not consciously aware of, or are they just our heart's deepest wishes?

JK

Desiring the Undesirable

2006-01-16T16:41:00.000+11:00

Desiring the Undesirable

Sydney is one of the world’s top three most romantic cities, so they say. From the famous Friday night until the end of Sunday, the parks, streets, harbours, beach, club, and any other public spots around the city are filled with couples. Hands held, shoulders hugged, waists embraced…

Amongst the romantic psychedelic that happens around me, I found romance simply exhaustive, time and energy consumptive, and merely unnecessary.

Too many people have spent too much of their time on relationships, that more often than not doomed to end eventually. There are many fish at the ocean, yes, but there are many nights you need to be out there fishing. And while you can sometimes catch them, it takes a great deal of effort to actually keep them.

As I try to move back in time, I admire the simplicity of love stories and romance that was the mainstream tradition three generations back. I remember my grandmother used to tell me that her first acquaintance with her husband was on their wedding day. Regardless of a lack of initial chemistry, their relationship flourished into a thirteen members plutonic family. And their love endures even after my grandfather no longer exists in blood and flesh..

The standard lifestyle of our society has evolved so much that many of our life sector are left with too many options. Too many people get too confused with their life choices. Am I gay, or am I straight? Am I a Catholic or Christian? Buddhist or Hindus? Religious or Atheist? Breadwinner mother or stay at home father? Straight, honest mundane existence or crazy, short-lived satisfying life? Too much variety has been accepted, leaving people confused with their too many life decisions to decide.

Could these complexities be the starting grounds of relationship obscurities? The 21st century coupledom is now filled with endless code deciphering. No means yes, yes means maybe,.... what certain words really mean, what particular gestures suggests,.... the list is endless!

Can our lifestyle be turned back to the Simpleville era where yes means yes and no means no? The society has evolved so far from its predecessors that we now refuse to go back to our ancient, non-evolved and hence, demeaning mindset.

Maybe it’s the pre-conditioned autonomous habit that we all experience during this turn of the century. Maybe it’s the human egocentricity to abandon anything that is perceived as of a lower degree of existence, of intelligence, of mentality.

Unlike anything mainstream, at the beginning of my journey I consciously realize that I’m missing, I’m wanting, I’m craving.
Desiring the undesirable.

JK

P.S. Thank You

2006-01-13T14:58:00.000+11:00

P.S. Thank You

Do you think of me at night ?
Do you miss me when there's no one by your side ?
When you see love on people's eyes
and their intertwined hands
Do you wish you can turn back the time ?

Maybe he does,
Maybe not
Maybe yesterday's memories have passed
and vanished into a hidden black hole

Maybe I'm suffering,
Maybe I'm indulging
This past memories are taking over me
I'm not necessarily grieving
I'm in a rather ecstatic low

I'm not a masochist, no
Just a mere human
embracing all aspects of humanity

And for this valuable experience
that I never had before
I thank you.

JK

Back to Step One

2006-01-13T09:57:00.000+11:00

Back to Step One

I endured so many long nights
Of loneliness, of regrets, of painful heart

I’ve gone back and forth,

Up and down,

Stayed high,

Stayed low

Had ecstatic drops of freedom
And suffered persistent depressing blues
Now I think I’ve gone past the waves
I think I’m ready to be content and happy again

Until I met you for the second time

And now I’m back to step one

JK

When Doves Cry

2006-01-11T09:58:00.000+11:00

When Doves Cry

Two minds, two settings
Two ways, two upbringings
One city, two worlds
One word, two meanings

Two people, one meeting
Two lives, one gathering
Two worlds, become one soul
Two visions, one heart

JK

Twirl of twighlights

2006-01-10T08:28:00.000+11:00

Twirl of twighlights

Amidst the flying arrays,
with endless twists of spiral lines
where everything are everywhere
and everywhere is anywhere,
two paths intersected.

Before anything,
there was the parrallel line.

Not curvy, not bouncy,
hell, not even zig-zaggy.

And then something happened.

They started to draw against each other,
twirl with one another, pushing and dancing together,
they almost form an auroras sky.

In the midst of the darkness,
their flare sends a sense of comfort,
of youth, of rejuvenation, of life.

Alas, like everything else,
changes take place.

For if one is wise enough,
one will understand
that the only constant thing in this world
is change.

Originated from opposite direction,
driven by different momentum,
the two arrays must continue their journeys.

Determined, indifferent, unbothered,
they sailed along through the universal space.
Each leaving a fraction of themselves behind,
and gained a little of something else.

JK

Ohana

2006-01-05T01:27:00.000+11:00

Ohana

I've conquered seas, and islands, and continents
I've travelled many miles from home, to make the next home
I've seen a lot of people and made a lot of friends
I've spoken a thousand language and laughed hundreds of smiles

Yet the more I travelled,
The more I realize that I'm missing what I'm searching
And I'm losing what I'm earning
I'm digging a hole on an ocean's shore

Am I trying to find what I don't yet have?
Or am I trying to run away from what I have?
This dark hurricane is playing me
I'm twisting, I'm trippin, I'm lost. I'm lost.

Then home came to me.
And for once, it stays there.
It didn't leave when I left,
it didn't turn its back when I abandoned it.
Finally, I can rest this mind in peace.

JK

New Year: period or illusion?

2006-01-04T16:51:00.000+11:00

New Year: period or illusion?

New Year means New Life, New Resolutions, New Everything.

Has it always been a periodical timeline in a human's lifetime calendar to actually start over a "new" year? Since when do we celebrate a "new" beginning of a pre-existed cycle?
Do people set up "new" resolutions to fill up their to-do baskets early on, because of our pre-conditioned lifestyle of autonomous mechanisms?

If the true purpose of those "resolutions" are truly to resolve previous errors and wrong-doings, why do we have to wait until the "new" year and not start over this very minute, this very exact second of reality?

Is "new" year an actual period that human needs to mark as the beginning of a new cycle, which would allow them to eliminate past misfortunes to reach a higher state of existence? Or is it simply an illusion of stepping stones, where one ahead is not too much different from the one behind?

Whereas some people like to see life as a jigsaw of black and white, I'd prefer the abstract blend of shades of gray.

Happy New Year, may all be merry and wise.

JK

Love and the Mantra

2006-01-04T16:49:00.000+11:00

Love and the Mantra

Sex. Relationships. Love.

Are these the human mental equivalent of blood, oxygen and water?

Human life are constantly and unavoidably surrounded by the Three Critical Elements above.
Boy was born, boy grew up, boy met girl, boy married girl.
Are these really the fulfilling path of people's life?

A long, long time ago an innocent girl was boasting about how marvellous love is, and how she could not imagine how cold, ignorant, and lifeless life would be without the existence of Love.

Then someone she knew said:
"but imagine how stable life would be without love".

Unable to defend herself, she kept quiet.

Some long, bumpy and curvy road later the words popped out of her head like a jumping hot popcorn. The world suddenly shifts. She never looked at life the same again. Suddenly everything makes sense. The sudden break up, the persistent nightmares, the undeserved joy that she always knew was too good to be true. Maybe the saying is true, and it has carved a powerful mantra in her heart. Your brain starts to think the moment you were born, and stops the second you fall in love.

In the early journey of my twenty-something-ness, I begin to wonder:
do I really want love?

An old, dear friend of mine once talked about his life.
"Life's good. No girls, no distraction."
And just like that, he rest his case.

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean that I loathe the old-time classic tale of Romeo and Juliet, or Cinderella and her prince charming who stormed outside his castle with his majestic white suit to find one of many glass shoes, or, for a closer reference, our newly wed neighbour, who seemingly happy to spend each weekend gardening their empty backyard. After some conquests which involved endurance, patience (which I have found very challenging), and understanding, I have come to a conclusion:

Life is stable without love.

And just like that, I rest my case

JK

Time is everything

2006-01-04T16:47:00.000+11:00

Time is everything.

Time is everything.

Well, at least a huge part of all things.

Farmers need to know exactly the seasonal periods of the year to ripe the maximum benefit of their hard labour. Even with the best seeds, the plants won't grow if they were planted during the wrong time. There are celebrations around the globe to proclaim the beginning of adulthood amongst their youths. It is their time to be an adult, and to be treated as such. Equally, a certain level of maturity are to be expected, because the society approves that the time they have spent in life has allowed and equipped them to conduct responsibly.

Some ancient myths adopted histories and legends of heroic figures obtaining priceless heritage at exactly the appropriate time, down to the seconds. Needless to say, the exact same action done at the wrong time would result death, if not permanent disability.

Is time the key to resolve all issues?

People say that time heals, or things would happen or get better at its own time, or it's time for such and such to be done. Then maybe for certain issues, frustrating and unsolveable issues, it would be good to wait. To stop, take a deep breath, and see what's around the corner. For the farmers can't force to plant winter vegetables in the middle of summer, nor can a twelve years old be considered as an adult and is expected to drive and work.

So for those who are pulling out their hair, or constantly stalking their psychiatrists for extra sessions, maybe a time out would calm you down, and let you see the bigger picture of your life.
Once you settle, then you'll realize:

Waiting, it ain't so bad.

JK

Fatamorgana

2006-01-04T16:45:00.000+11:00

Fatamorgana

I thought I saw something.

Yes, I was sure I had it.

It looked real,
It seemed real,
hell, it even tasted real.

So I took it home
and it was a part of me.

But one day
I came home to an empty heart.
Then I realised,
that it was only an illusion.

So here I am again,
all alone,
one solitary figure.

Just the wind,
the night,
and me.

Choices v.s. Destiny

2006-01-04T16:43:00.000+11:00

Choices v.s. Destiny

I could not sleep last night.

I don’t have insomnia, but the new pillow someone swapped my old pillow with was horribly unbearable – leaving me with a 2-inch gap between my shoulder and the bed, which was highly unusual for my stiff, short neck.

Somewhere in the midst of night and dawn, in between a state of consciousness and drunken-like slumber, my mind started to wander. The short yet intense journey I went through, the bittersweet memories, places, people, and unforgettable paths I took and left behind. All which lead me to this place, to this very hour.

Then the unavoidable argument of all time: Life, Choices and Destiny.

For many ten-fold of centuries humankind have been battling their brain cells out of their skulls. Unenduring war of the Left and Right; of Rational and Emotional; of Realism and Spiritualism.

Whereas the Buddhist claims that current life is an outcome of past decisions, Christians believe that each individual has a pre-destined life ahead of them, one of God’s own plan, carefully stitched even before they were conceived.

Like many constant thinkers, I struggle picking side between this mind tug-of-war. Embracing Destiny would be of a great comfort, knowing that somehow, somewhere, some-what scenario would unravel itself and we would know that it is “God’s Plan” for us to discover that certain task. However, a more liberating and tempting path is of the Rational, of the free will, of being able to choose independently and being equally rewarded or punished for our choices in life. For our life.

Does this mean that Nguyen’s ripe life has been predestined to be ended in Singapore’s knot? Or did Mother Teresa consciously decide to leave her civilised life behind to live for other’s well-being?

I like to think that maybe, it’s a little bit of both.
Maybe, it's just like the saying that goes,

“we can only try to do our hardest until Destiny reveals itself”

JK

Real Life, Real-Asian-Ship

2006-01-04T16:34:00.000+11:00

Real Life, Real-Asian-Ship

Has coupledom been a part of every Eartherns’ life?

For Asians around the world, relationship and marriage is considered to be one of the unquestioned path that one needs and would have to go through. Like a five-year old about to enter their childhood years, adults are expected to be, and belong to a couple-based relationship to be considered an “established” figure. More often than not, a single successful man or woman would be glanced with a sheer empathy out of their ringless fingers. Regardless of their content and comfortable personal state of mind, society stamped them as a somewhat rejected items, of an unsold product no matter how often it was on “sale”, “reduced”, and re-“reduced”.

Has fate been so singly layered, with no other dimensions BUT the one “true”, “correct” and “appropriate” way? Certain marriage lifestyle that would be of a close custom for Asians would be the familiar “rich man – pretty woman” entangleship.

He would be an average looking guy, with no less than a big house and luxurious cars, business or companies that had been established, or even better, handed over from previous generation. She would be gorgeous and fertile, with a personality that matches his mother and sisters, and a high school certificate or university degree that would never be of any use for her future marriage “career”.

One or two years down their marriage path, she would be pregnant, give birth, go out shopping and sipping the classy café au-lait whilst the maids at home take care of her five-days-old infant. And so that’s how they shall spend their closely knitted child-mother bond for their remaining lifetime.

Whilst numbers got added into the year calendar and she gets older and less attractive, her now even richer husband would rest his eyes on other women who are more favourable and eye-soothing, and body-pleasing. Power and materials would dominate their insecure life, he would leave her and she would be bitter all her life, and their children would continue their superficial lives.

Has life been dominated by material values throughout all of our existence?
Would the cavemen allow their cavedaugthers to marry only the cave-owners and compatible hunters?

What about our single, successful, smart and independent members of the society who are happily married to themselves?
Would it not be a lot more favourable to accomplish one single satisfying life than to resentfully endure a pre-conditioned lifestyle only to live up to the society’s standard?

JK

looking through the surface

2006-01-04T16:33:00.000+11:00

looking through the surface

Eyes are not for the blind,
In their ears their visions are bind.
Tongue is not for the mute,
with wordless speech they speak of unbrute.

Wealth are not for the poor,
they endure with things much more.
Health are not for the ill,
courage and fitness they will kill.

For what good are eyes
if sight would only bring you shocking despair
of this worldly trash?
And what great cause would twistful tongue give
when it only speaks of curse and wrath?

When the sun has rest to dawn
the crawling creatures behind it would rest
and thanked the heavens for their single day's life.
And thus that's how it shall ever be.

JK

sturdy fragility

2006-01-04T16:31:00.000+11:00

sturdy fragility

drops of water ringin in my ears
this night is so quiet, yet it's uncomfortably silent
staring at the screen, hoping i can come up with something
but there are no words to say, it all don't mean a thing.

some say i'm tough, some say i'm endless
but behind that fair facade, only you can see
that i am only a mere coward, standing here in fragile
so tell me, when the rain drops and the thunder storms...
will you still be here?

I know your faithfulness in me is unquestioned
But sometimes when the boat rocks, you can't help but want
To jump out and free yourself from pressures and despair
that intoxicates .....
So tell me, what would you do?

JK

An ode to love

2006-01-04T16:18:00.000+11:00

An ode to love

Love is such a complicated thing.

It says it does, but it doesn't.
It says it will, but it won't.
It says it can, but you know damn well that it cannot.

So what's the fuss?
Why the improper and unnecessary sacrifices?
Why the untrue and unlasting promises?

For it is at the very deepest heart's soul,
that a true love emerges.
It never shows itself,
but it generates endlessly, and unfearfully.

If only the opposite can remain still,
and listen to the unhearable senses,
then it shall be overwhelmed,
by the drunkenness of eternal satisfaction.

JK