A Brief Pause

This cloud of uncertainty is beginning to make me doubtful
Of all the hopes and dreams, of the entire castle we’ve built
They say what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger
What happens then to an unfinished process?

I really have traveled much too far indeed
But all directions have been guided by a strong instinct
Standing strong as a solitary adult in this controlled life,
Could I have been wrong all these time?

I’ve taken my leap of faith,
I’ve put all of my cards on the table right from the very beginning
Wishing that you would do the same
So here I am, standing, breathing, waiting.

JK

Grrrr...

Here I am again.

Pondering useless things about life, over-analyzing things and ended up to a conclusion: my life sucks.

Somewhere in my early twenty-something years, I am quite happy to proclaim that I'm proud of my accomplishments so far. But every now and again, I cannot help but feel these dull-ness, meaningless-ness sensations that fill my daily lives. I wonder if it's something I ate... or didn't eat? ;p

Feel like packing my bags and wonder off to a foreign country, wishing to find something. Which I knew I wouldn't find anyway, 'cause I've been there before. All there is was just a peaceful week or month to spend on anything without anyone requesting something of you..

What is it then that I want? Is it just as easy as switching off a button in my head just to stop thinking too much and be happy just the way things are?

Maybe I should rest my head for a while....

JK

Rhyme Play

I can’t hide,

Can’t lie

I can’t keep you on a stream

That’s going by

I can’t hold

‘cause I’m bold

Can’t take something that’s not mine

That’s what I’m told

See my pain?

It’s on the reign

I’m waiting for it to wash away

Maybe in a Rain

So let’s smile

Just for a while

Our lines have crossed, and I will

Tell our tales in the Nile

JK

Continuing the Tradition

Can you be so sure of anything in this life?

The season changes continuously, and here in Sydney the constant shifting of the weather is not of unfamiliarity to most residents. We expect snow in summer, and gratefully embraced hot sun in winter. Humans tend to take anything and everything for granted, a trait that is too hard to kill especially with current hi-tech supported living, where things are demanded bigger, better, and quicker.

Tragically, when one of the most valuable treasures that was found in this world vanishes, we quickly grew some liking to other nicer, fancier distractions. Whatever happened with treasuring the old, memorable gems? How is it that life can be so shallow?

Being a conservative person that I am, one tends to hold on tight to one’s most precious gifts that life has delivered. Yet at times I can’t seem to be able to distinguish the gifts that will endure for a season or a lifetime. Is it wrong to wish that good things are to last in this life? Would it be considered a sin to attempt to preserve a life’s treasure even when it will be on the other’s expense?

The wise will know that the only constant thing in this world is change.

I think I will walk with my eyes shut and pretend that I am a fool.

JK

Vanity

What do you have to offer?
So much demands, countless contemplations
Wanting so much out of me
Where in fact you can’t give much yourself

Material things, stupid and shallow objectives
I’m not made up of magazines
I have books and dictionaries enough to fill a library
Consolidating and enriching my tiny brains

I’m not sure where you got the idea from
But this life is not all about the superficial
I’m worth more than that, I’m proud to say I’m real
Not waiting to be fed, not wasting time staying around

Can’t you see that there’s more to life?
Unbelieving your artificial state, here I am left in ponder
You waste your time for the unthinkable
Wasting time, wasting dime, wasting life

Why bother existing when you’re not living?
Why bother displaying when you’re not representing?
All of your inappropriateness is making me sick to the stomach
If you can’t use your life, then give it to someone else

JK

Drown Me

Love me
Seduce me
Tease me
Overwhelm me
The way you used to own me

Caress me
Embrace me
Take me to another world
The way you used to fantasise me

I need your love
I need your loving
I want to escape to another world
That I used to go to when I’m lost

Drown me in your land
Don’t escape me when I try
Chain me to your heart
Switch off the starry skies
So that I won’t find my way home

My world is a waste
I tried my best to please her
I jumped, I soared, I crossed many oceans
Like a passing deaf sound she overlooked my attempts

So take me
Hide me
Own me
Own me
My life is mine and now I give it to you
If you would only drown me

JK

Dark and Dull

Do you think fate has the unavoidable nature
With its twistful turns and continuances
That eventually leads us to a predetermined line
That nevertheless, would be suitable for our soul?

For I have traveled many miles
Away from my life, to embrace another life
Yet life itself lured me back into its trap
And I become its voodoo princess

No matter how high I tried to fly
Or how wise I try to grow
This chain of bitterness seems to be endlessly pulling me down
With hatred, betrayal and foolishness

I’ll scream if I can, cause I really want to
I’ll run if I could, but I have not the heart to
Now all that I can see is an endless circle
That has begun to eat away my rotten faith

If this life’s journey is all about hardship
And hardships are meant to give you power
Then what’s the use of easy living after hardship?
Will it even come at all?

Now all I have is fear and confusion
With doubtful heart and mind that marry as one
And it seems like they cannot be transformed
All is dark, all is dull.

JK

I am Me

Can’t we live without primal prejudices and shallow stereotyping?

Today I was kindly introduced to a key member of an organization, whose first line of her self-introductory was “come and join us”. I was utterly shocked; I froze for about a tenth of a second. Trying to hide my surprise and keep up my courtesy, I sent her a sheer smile and gave out a ‘maybe’ gesture.

There was no harm on her line, no self-indulging or any hint of self-superiority whatsoever. But whatever happened to “hi, how are you?”, or “nice to meet you, where are you from?” or “what do you do?”.

Whatever happened to the basic conversational skills, and the common courtesy of communication? Why do people need to ‘group’ others to a certain race, belief, or even sexual preference?

Is it a grueling thing for the twenty-first century dwellers to accept an individual as is? In a highly evolved society, where nations are civilized and independently administrated, even the most individual soul is categorized into a certain group.

Nomad, melancholic, anti-social, boat-rocker,...

and many more names that supposedly can describe the many characteristics within a unique individual. Do you think it’s wise to see someone as an Aquarian, or Libran, or a Horse or Dog and judge their characteristics according to the ‘groups’ that they belong to?

I’d say, nay.

”My songs are not clear, and many could not hear

It is engraved in silence, and to listen you don’t need an ear

I’m more than a canvas, you’d have to go deep through them

And once you can infiltrate the covers, I’m all yours to keep.”

JK

Jane

Jane

Come, my dear

Let me take you to an opened window of my heart

Sit by me, my dear

I will tell you a story no one has ever heard

The facts and myths of the known, and the unknown

The beginning and end of many more to hear

The construction and abolishment of endless things

Of meetings, fallings, breakings, healings

Maybe you would know, maybe you wouldn’t

Because this door was tightly shut

Many have tried to penetrate, but failed

Because this door, well it’s locked from inside

But you’ve been there before, even from outside

I think you didn’t notice you were there

Because your shoes left messy prints all over the inside

But now I’ve wiped them all away, it’s clean. It’s pure.

Have you ever wondered why I took you there?

How long will it take until you realize your presence in mine?

You touched my sheets, read my books

Remember how we made music together?

My songs are not clear, and many could not hear

It is engraved in silence, and to listen you don’t need an ear

I’m more than a canvas, you’d have to go deep through them

And once you can infiltrate the covers, I’m all yours to keep.

JK

Oops..

Oops...

Since when does dream become reality?

Some left over sensations that has been suppressed

Hoped that they will eventually deteriorate and vanish

Few rare elements that are surprisingly powerful

How would the dead feel when they’re brought back to life?

Is it necessarily a refreshing and liberating thing,

Or a merely past lifetime path that should be left behind?

And which one would satisfy them more?

Do the strong strife for future hopes

Or do the hopeful endure for what’s worth itself?

JK

A Request

A Request

Winter is here again

Ah, what a reminiscence

I can see people with their familiar faces

I can clearly taste the winter dishes that I often had

The grassy hills, with a warm touch of sun

This familiar smell, this homely air.

Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn

It goes by and by and life past me by

A lot of smiles, a lot of cries

And a hell lot of everything else.

From playground to university,

From comics to textbooks

And then it grew to offices and houses

And now, maturity and responsibility.

Yet in this solitude, I yearn for something much more

Something that would stay through the seasons

Winter me, Spring me, Summer me, Autumn me

And after it’s done, we’ll do it all over again.

JK